I Am...Multidimensional

Multidimensionality is as complicated to "be" as it is to spell..lol

First thing that peeks my curiousity is how hard it is to explain something/someone as multidimensional if you cant properly define dimension...simplest definition that comes to mind is something with many sides..and MAN if anyone knows me even in the slightest they know this is true. Of course there are pros and cons to this..it makes me versatile, easily adaptable, and someone who knows and can do many things depending on which "side" is visible...it also makes me moody, unpredictable and and overall roulette wheel so to speak..because you never know where the ball might land...so in a way..i am the kind of person some love to hate..because while i can be witty and charming i can be a total pain in the..eh umm..neck..lol..whats a girl to do? u have no idea how hard it is to BE this person, let alone be WITH this person..lol.. Love me or leave me?

Balance..which I still have yet to master but strive towards daily...i try to stay on an even keel..i dont wanna fuss or fight because i can quickly swirl into a tail spin..and trust me the "tail" is not the side u wanna see if u can avoid it..i dont wanna be too predictable..cuz whats the fun in that?..how do u have spontaneity and still keep from tippin the boat?..vewwy carefuwwy..this takes A LOT of effort and even more energy..but it is possible..i refer alot to the new and old me..and even tho it should refer to God etc..its really about the person i have evolved into over the last several years and moreso over the last year..a much happier..calm and controlled ME...now this new me does get gagged and hog-tied from time to time and the crazy "i will cut u" puerto rican in me does emerge..but she can be brought back to the "zen-chi" me..lol

What is sacrificed is all this?..hmm..things i have learned myself and have even shared with others such as...1-just agree and move on..if its not THAT important to be right..choose ur battles..2-dont always say what is on ur mind..i have a permanant scar from biting my tongue..the old me could care LESS if u didnt like what i had to say.. u were gonna listen to every word till im done..STEP AWAY..and learn when to shut up..3-let the OCD im me take a chill pill..im not a neat freak but i like things clean...some days..its ok to lay around and not clean..the mess will be there tmrw..along the same lines..its ok for the kids to get dirty..this is hard for me..i think the hardest thing i did was let my son (now 12 then maybe 5) go outside in the snow and make snow angels..what was even harder..i made some with him...he remembers to this day those memories..and all i had to do was not worry about the mess we were gonna make with all the wet clothes.

A lot of my dimensions are totally and extremely opposite from one another..this also has its pros and cons..i dont trust easily, but when i do im all in...i dont love easily, but when i do, i fall hard...i dont like doin anything half-way..the best or not at all...im all about play hard or go home...

Where does this leave me..heck I dunno..lol..remember this is my therapy..but i know that day by day..each side is more clearly defined..its purpose and the role it plays...

I am..outgoing, fun, intelligent, witty, loving, sarcastic, easy going, a jack of all trades, multi-tasker, an optimist, a skeptic, a pain in the neck, moody, a loopy loop roller-coaster(the best one in the park), unforgettable, open-minded, hard-headed, distant and close..lol, more than u ever thought i would be..and MORE!

take ur pick..love me or leave me...but u gotta have me.. =)

...until next time!