Does the truth really set u free?

I'm playin devils advocate again ...do u think its better to tell someone the truth ..even if they will prolly never know the difference... knowing that the truth is what that person is asking for..but also knowing the truth will change everything..?

define: truth-noun-1. A statement proven to be or accepted as true. 2. Sincerity; integrity.
define: freedom-noun-1. The capacity to exercise choice; free will 2.exemption from external control, interference, regulation, etc.

my theory has always been dont ask questions u dont want to know the answers to...tho..most do anyway..is it more torture to know the truth?..or does NOT knowing kill u? even tho u may not like the answer, something about KNOWING the truth is freeing to me..even tho the scripture that says, "You shall know the truth and the truth shall set you free." is referring to God's truth..to me the concept is the same...

(goodcitizen.com)"Telling the truth doesn't mean randomly expressing ones feelings or thoughts. Nor does mean expressing feelings or thoughts in an insensitive way. But it does mean telling people how you feel and what you think, when appropriate. It does mean being true to oneself (telling oneself the truth) and not to someone else's wishes. Psychiatrist David Viscott said that "the truth may hurt, but it's always hurts less than a lie". "

how do i "get" free?..first accept the truth..even if u dont like it..even if u could never fathom it to be so..accept it...then let it go...everything is a choice...with the truth come lots of emotions...hate, rage, anger, disappointment, fill in the blank..lol...but holding on to all of those feelings is what keeps u in bondage..its what keeps the turmoil and misery in your life...people keep secrets their whole life and it haunts them everyday...LET IT GO!

as time passes..i try to walk away with the lessons life brings...i think about how conflicted people can be in themselves..knowing and not knowing..torn by choices to tell or not to tell something..above anything, i remember words are powerful, and once it's said u CAN'T take it back..
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Truth: the most deadly weapon ever discovered by humanity. Capable of destroying entire perceptual sets, cultures, and realities. Outlawed by all governments everywhere. Possession is normally punishable by death.-- John Gilmore

The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable. --Jim Davis

It's not a matter of what is true that counts but a matter of what is perceived to be true. --Henry Kissinger

It is better to be divided by truth than to be united in error.-- Adrian Rodgers

I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality. This is why right, temporarily defeated, is stronger than evil triumphant.-- Martin Luther King

...until next time

I am...Changed

I'm not really sure why I chose today to write on this topic..but again..this is my therapy..i think about how much people change whether from day to day or over years..and i tell people all the time that i am glad that i am a different person than i was..because over the years..i have changed...ALOT... in a way that i can recognize how i react differently to situations etc..and how if i were the "old" me..that things would have happened alot differently...

define: change-verb-1. to make the form, nature, content, future course, etc., of (something) different from what it is or from what it would be if left alone. 2. to become transformed or converted.

so many times..after being in a long relationship..when u move on.. the "new" guy/girl asks..."why would they let u go(u let them go)?..u are such an awesome person and have all this and that to offer"..but they dont see what it took to get u there...the "new" person gets the benefit of all the hard work that was put into MAKING u that person...u were there patiently waiting thru the hard times as u grew and evolved into who u are now..

then they ask..then why arent u with them anymore?..if u have evolved into this great person..why did u leave?...sometimes because u are changed...the things that drew u together no longer do, or may even push u apart...u can still love and appreciate that person for who they are and what they helped mold u into..but thats not always enough to fix what got broken along the way...

Never regret something that once made you smile. ~Unknown
..until next time

I am...Waiting

Great day in the book i have been reading..i'm still in Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyer...todays topic is my BIGGESTTTTTTTTTTTTTT problem...Patience! today I am...Waiting (or learning to..lol)..

definition of: patience-noun-1. the quality of being patient, as the bearing of provocation, annoyance, misfortune, or pain without complaint, loss of temper, irritation, or the like. 2. an ability or willingness to suppress restlessness or annoyance when confronted with delay. 3. quiet, steady perseverance; even-tempered care; diligence.

i have to make a concious effort to work on my patience..every day..heck every minute..i want what i want, and i want it NOW...but of course thats not realistic..so i gotta be patient..UGH!..as i was reading there were so many good "nuggets" that made me see things clearer...in James 5:7 it says, "So be patient, AS you wait..." notice it doesnt say "So be patient, IF you wait..."..we dont have a choice but to wait..if u think about it..we end up spending more time waiting than we do receiving..so we gotta check our attitude while we are doing it..and enjoy the waiting time...

now... what prevents us from doin that...i had never thought of it..but pride prevents patient waiting(Joyce Meyer describes this so well i love her)...the proud person thinks so highly of himself that he believes he should never have to wait or be inconvenienced...a humble person will not display an impatient attitude...(I had an ah-ha moment)..The proud tries to use the strength of his own flesh and tries to make things happen in his own timing..pride says, "I am ready now!" (this is so ME)..humility says, "God knows best, and He will not be late!" A humble man waits patiently; he actually has a "reverential fear" of moving in the strength of his own flesh. But a proud man tries one thing after another, all to no avail. (omg this is good stuff)

how do we get it?...patience is the fruit of the Spirit(Gal 5:22)..meaning once we are saved(born-again)..we gain the ability to have this characteristic..and displaying this is very important. God wants other people to see His character thru His children...also remember that the devil cannot control a patient person...(another ah-ha moment)

ok..so now we will see why we need to be patient and the benefit of it..Hebrews 10:36 "For you have need of steadfast patience and endurance, so that you may perform and fully accomplish the will of God, and THUS receive and carry away[and enjoy to the full] what is promised." WOW! AH HAAAAA! this one dug in me...the Scripture says without patience and endurance we WILL NOT receive the promises of God... and Hebrews 6:12 tells us that it is only thru faith and patience that we inherit the promises....im tellin u..i was reading this in starbucks this mornin..i almost got up and started to dance..because my eyes were opened and i was so excited to gain the revelation of this concept...

this applies to so many areas of my life now..its not even funny...reading today has confirmed alot of things that i have been hearing from God..and nothings better than knowin ur on the right path...so in the meantime..while i'm waiting..i'm gonna savor the flavor and marinate in the promises He has for me...today I AM... WAITING...until next time...

I am...Hearing Voices

thank goodness for Tyler Perry...he says it like it is...

..."Pay attention to the voices in your head. If somebody say they love you, then everything they do has to line up with love. If somebody say they love you and do something crazy, and you tell them to stop, and they keep doing it, well, they don't love you. Pay attention to that voice. Get by yourself so you can hear what God is trying to tell you."~Madea

this is harder said than done, as most know...in the midst things..how do u hear the voices clearly?...how do u know which voice to listen to? Madea said get by urself so u can hear what GOD is saying..thats what the term "get into ur prayer closet" is talkin about..getting away from the noise and waiting expectantly for that still small voice...when u hear it..u know its God if it lines up with His Word...

the hard part is DOING what God said...i'm not always the best at this (i pretty much suck at it but i am a work in progress)..not because i want to be disobedient..but because if God says let them go, im scared to...for fear they might not come back...this is the test of a person's true colors...theirs AND mine...

Maya Angelou said it best. She said, "If someone shows you who they are, believe them." I believe people can change..but it has to be their choice...and sometimes its too late..but at least walk away with the lesson..and learn to listen to the voices....until next time..

Just for a season...

another day in the neighborhood...ive been ponderin some stuff the past few days...as i am seeking to find myself..i question my purpose and the purpose of those around me..i think why am i here..recently i have had a few blasts from the past..and friends from WAY back got back in touch with me..i wonder..why now..i think everything happens for a reason..according to God's will and purpose for my life..nothing is by accident..and it makes me re-evaluate my role in their life and vice versa...it reminded me of this Madea quote (thank u Brandie for finding it)...

..."Some people come into your life for a lifetime, some come for a season. You got to know which is which. You're gonna always mess up when you mix them seasonal people up with lifetime expectations. We got people that got married with people they only supposed to be with for a season, and they wonder why they have so much hell in their life. That was a person that was supposed to come and teach you one thing. You didn't know it so you just fell in love, and now you wonder why don't got no peace anywhere you go."

..."I put everybody that come in my life in the category of a tree. Some people are like leaves on a tree. The wind blows, they over there. They unstable. Blows the other way, they over here. Seasons change, they wither and die, they gone. That's alright. Most people in the world are like that. They just there to take from the tree. They there to take and give shade every now and then. That's all they can do. But don't get mad at em, that's who they are. Some people are like a branch on that tree. You gotta be careful with them branches too cause they'll fool you. They'll get there and make you think they a good friend and real strong, but the minute you step out there on em, they'll break and leave you high and dry. But if you find you two or three people in your life that's like the roots at the bottom of the tree, you are blessed. They're the kind of people that ain't goin nowhere. They ain't worried about bein seen, don't nobody have to know that they know you, they ain't got to know what they doin for you. But if them roots wasn't there that tree couldn't live. You understand? When you get you some roots hold on to em. But the rest of it you let it go. Just let folks go. "

theres almost nuthing left to say...what Madea said is so true..

appreciate those people in ur life..u never know their purpose..and make a point to be that for someone else..my mama used to tell me.."If my ONLY purpose in life was to have u..I am grateful for it." We might just be here to cause someone to turn left instead of right..not knowing that one turn changed their life..live each day with purpose..even if ur not sure what it is...until next time...

I am...A Better Man

sorry for the blog break again...just wasnt feelin the need to write on friday..overall a good weekend..i heard this song today..it made me think of things that i have done in relationships and had done to me..what comes around goes around and karma is a bi***...in the end..we all just wanted to be loved and appreciated...it seems so simple..yet complicated at the same time...men are usually simple creatures..but there are always curve balls...as soon as u think u have someone figured out..they pitch u a screw ball and ur struck out...love is ....

definition of: love-noun-1. a profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person. 2. A deep, tender, ineffable feeling of affection and solicitude toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness. 3. An intense emotional attachment. in love-verb-1. infused with or feeling deep affection or passion

Love is wonderful..love is ineffable(incapable of being expressed or described in words)..love is sacred..love is irreplaceable...love is life changing...love is unconditional..love is a natural high..love is blind..love is blinding...love is lasting...love is tender..love is healing...love is passionate...love is never wasted..love sees beyond imperfections..love is euphoric and devestating all in one...love is heartbreaking...love is disappointing..love is miserable..love is covetous...love is taken for granted..love is destroyed...love is lost and love is found...love is selfless and love is prideful...love is half empty and half full...love is a roller coaster...love is an oxymoron...

If I Were A Boy lyrics by Beyonce
If I were a boy
Even just for a day
I’d roll out of bed in the morning
And throw on what I wanted and go
Drink beer with the guys
And chase after girls
I’d kick it with who I wanted
And I’d never get confronted for it
Because they’d stick up for me
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
If I were a boy
I would turn off my phone
Tell everyone its broken
So they think that I was sleeping alone
I’d put myself first
And make the rules as I go
Cause I know that she’d be faithful
Waiting for me to come home
If I were a boy
I think I could understand
How it feels to love a girl
I swear I’d be a better man
I’d listen to her
Cause I know how it hurts
When you lose the one you wanted
Cause he’s taken you for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
It’s a little too late for you to come back
Say its just a mistake
Think I forgive you like that
If you thought I would wait for you
You thought wrong
But you're just a boy
You don’t understand
How it feels to love a girl
Someday you’ll wish you were a better man
You don’t listen to her
You don’t care how it hurts
Until you lose the one you wanted
Cause you've taken her for granted
And everything you had got destroyed
But you're just a boy…

If I were a boy..I would be a better man...I AM..A Better Man...until next time...

I am...Hopeful

What an awesome day! I am filled with so many emotions i am almost speachless..watching Barack win literally brought me and millions of others to tears..i pray that men of all colors see him as "something to live up to" ... and appreciate every stepping stone he lays from today forward...let me give u a little background on my perspective...

hopeful-adj-1. Having or manifesting hope. 2. full of promise... Having qualities which excite hope; affording promise of good or of success

where do i begin?..did i think Barack would win?..yes..but i didnt want to jump the gun..because when it comes down to it..elections can change quickly either way...some voted based purely on his race..(tho studies show there wasnt an overwhelming amount of black voters..but who knows)..some voted because they felt he would bring the opposite of what Bush has brought for 8 years...some because they truly felt he is an awesome man and will be a great leader for our country...some just because they felt McCain was such a horrible choice they would go democrat..regardless..he won!

electing the first black president of the united states is about much more than changing history..its about paving new pathways to progress...for those who dont know(because people always assume incorrectly)..i am half white and half puerto rican..born in chicago and moved to lewisville, texas at the age of 5..at this time lewisville was not the retail super city like it is now..it was corn fields and farmers...so take urself back 27 years and remember the mentality of the majority of southerners...i was the dark-skinned outkast with a white mother..i remember once when i was in the grocery store with my mother..someone walked up to us and asked "Where did u find HER?"..like i was from a third world country or something...in my neighborhood i was called the "colored girl" by most...my 4th grade teacher hated me..and told me outright she was goin to find a way to fail me because she didnt like "wetbacks"..in 7th grade i went to a dance with the CUTEST guy..afterwards i went to meet his mom..she pulled me to the side and said.."dont ever talk to my son again..u are the WRONG color for him"..so even tho i wasnt around during the civil rights movement..i have felt the anguish of prejudice first hand..

In my opnion, Barack Obama put the pendulum in motion bringing forth the biggest MOVEMENT of people since MLK, instilling hope and casting an inspiring vision across the globe...

yesterday was so surreal, incomprehensible even...seeing the faces (all colors) so deeply moved by the pure thought that the unthinkable was actually happening...i know i'm not alone in waking up this morning thinking to myself.."everything is gonna be ok"...restoration of hope brings faith, joy and purpose back into waking up and putting your best into each day...i sat down with both the boys this morning just like i did the day Barack was nominated as the democratic candiate...and explained the best i could how important yesterday was..how they can tell their kids, "i remember when.."..and how this election opened the doors for generations to come... and that this is living proof that ANYONE..can grow up to be the President of the United States! Today I am proud to be an American and I AM HOPEFUL!...until next time..

I am..Pickin up the Pieces

well after yesterdays rant..it's time to get it together..i feel much better gettin all that out of my system so that i can move on...so today I AM...Picking up the Pieces...

i am glad that the aftermath is minimal after all the dishes breakin yesterday...but thats the great part about bloggin...i still have alot of internal housekeeping to do, but the rage has passed and now i can focus..alot of what i have been thinkin about has to do with function and dysfunction..the actual percentage of dysfunctional households is thru the roof..producing more dysfunctional kids etc...how do u know that ur relationship with someone is normal or not?..whats normal? many of us have been to hell and back thru the years of growing up and gettin into adult relationships that mimic what we saw all our lives..i saw this online and modified it a bit..

The Functional Family (or any relationship)

F ills its function
U nderstands everyone's purpose
N urtures - everyone's needs are met
C ommunicates frequently and effectively
T eaches the partner/spouse/child what they need to know
I ntimacy is available
O pen to new ideas
N ever punishes by shaming or withholding love
A lways seeks to understand each other
L OVE IS MOST IMPORTANT (including sometimes tough love)

F ights fair
A ssists each other (teamwork)
M akes each individual important
I n times of trouble, focuses on solving the problem, support
L ets each partner/member be an individual
Y OU have the power to be functional, no matter what anyone else is doing

i have joked before about having to go thru a "12-step program" or my own little rehab to get past a broken relationship with out losing my mind...but this is a good checklist to see if what ur going thru is functional or dysfunctional...

the "function" of a relationship is different for each person..but the basics gotta be there(love, nurturing, respect...)..everyone plays a different role..alpha, omega or tug of war...when u love someone..its so hard to see the forest for the trees..u have ur own interpretation of what is really goin on..but sometimes it takes true objective re-evaluation to remove the rose colored glasses..i struggle with this every day..and i still cant quite get it right..but im not gonna stop trying..i know what i want..and what i dont want..even when all the broken pieces get put back together..the cracks(scars) are still there..just camouflaged very well..lol...until next time...

I am ..Breakin Dishes

well i gotta blog before i implode...my title today is I am..Breakin Dishes...

i havent decided which is worse...holdin my tongue..internalizing my anger and rage..or letting it out..SCREAMIN, CUSSIN AND BREAKIN DISHES...i feel like im poisoning myself to save everyone elses feelings...

nothings worse than a woman scorned...i am the nicest, sweetest, most helpful person..i will do most anything in my power to help someone..make a way for them..whatever it may be..i always have my eye out for jobs or connections that can help people..especially when i really care about u...but it is a HUGE mistake to take my kindness for weakness..i know no one is perfect but dont dare confuse me with the rest of these broads that will put up with nonsense...i will NOT tolerate being taken advantage of..i might stay quiet at first to keep the peace..but there is a breaking point..and trust me when i break ur GONNA know..when im in this mood i jam my Rihanna CD...this song is more than about someone cheating..its about bein PUSHED to the point of no return..

Breakin' Dishes lyrics
I don't know who you think I am
He been gone since 3.30
Been comin home lately at 3.30
I'm super cool, I've been a fool
But now I'm hot and baby you gon' get it
Now I ain't trippin', I, I aint twistin
I am demented, I'm just a little bit (huh)
I'm kickin ass, I'm taking names
I'm on a flame, don't come home babe
[CHORUS]
I'm breakin' dishes up in here
All night (uh huh)
I aint gon stop until I see police and lights (uh huh)
I'm a fight a man (tonight)I'm a fight a man (tonight)
I'm a fight a manA man, a m-a-a-a-aan
A man, a man, on a m-a-a-a-aan
OhhhhI'm still waiting, come through the door
I'm killing time,you know bleachin ya clothes
I'm roasting marshmallows on the fire
And what I'm burnin, is your attire
I'm gettin restless, I'm gettin tested
And I cant believe he's always out every night and never checks in
Is he cheatin, man I dont know
I'm looking round for somethin else to throw
[CHORUS]
I don't know who you think I am
But I really don't give a damn right now
If you don't come I'm a huff and puff and
Blow this, Blow this I'm a blow this, blow this, huh
Blow this house down
Dishes, breakin' dishes, breakin' dishes breakin' dishes

is it really worth getting that upset over? maybe not..but we all go thru peaks and valleys..and this mess sux..it hurts, it makes me mad and makes me sad all at the same time..dont appreciate me for who i am?..i guarantee u are the one who is losin out..once a good girl goes bad shes gone forever...so in case u didnt read my blog saturday..GO KICK ROCKS!...until next time!

I am..Dreaming BIG

this is just the preface to this actual subject..but i was reading Joel Osteen's devotional this mornin and i wanted to share this prayer...

"Father, because of You, I will dare to dream big dreams. With faith and confidence in You, I know that I can accomplish the goals that You have placed within heart."

this is great stuff and i'm claiming it! If the Lord doesn't do anything else, He's already done enough!

until next time...

I am...Flippin

for all of u who havent seen the other side of me i guess it was bound to happen sooner or later..its time to rant..i gotta vent because im so ready to tell everybody to just kick rocks...

this is a "I'm sick of men" rant..so if u dont wanta hear it or ur gonna be offended i dont care..dont read it..

can SOMEONE please explain to me the nerve of men who walk around thinkin they can have double standards and no one is gonna speak up..they must be used to dealin with weak or sorry broads..but they should KNOW that i am neither of those and im GONNA tell u how i feel..

all dudes who expect u to JUMP when they call and drop everything..but when u need something they will get to it when they feel like it...all yall can KICK ROCKS..all yall out there who wanna put me thru 30 questions but i ask one dang question and u wanna ack a fool..U CAN KICK ROCKS..and.....all yall out there who dont want me to go date someone else but u treat me like crap...u can KICK ROCKS AND KISS MY YELLA BUTT..u will miss it when its GONE!

until next time!