well after yesterdays rant..it's time to get it together..i feel much better gettin all that out of my system so that i can move on...so today I AM...Picking up the Pieces...
i am glad that the aftermath is minimal after all the dishes breakin yesterday...but thats the great part about bloggin...i still have alot of internal housekeeping to do, but the rage has passed and now i can focus..alot of what i have been thinkin about has to do with function and dysfunction..the actual percentage of dysfunctional households is thru the roof..producing more dysfunctional kids etc...how do u know that ur relationship with someone is normal or not?..whats normal? many of us have been to hell and back thru the years of growing up and gettin into adult relationships that mimic what we saw all our lives..i saw this online and modified it a bit..
The Functional Family (or any relationship)
F ills its function
U nderstands everyone's purpose
N urtures - everyone's needs are met
C ommunicates frequently and effectively
T eaches the partner/spouse/child what they need to know
I ntimacy is available
O pen to new ideas
N ever punishes by shaming or withholding love
A lways seeks to understand each other
L OVE IS MOST IMPORTANT (including sometimes tough love)
F ights fair
A ssists each other (teamwork)
M akes each individual important
I n times of trouble, focuses on solving the problem, support
L ets each partner/member be an individual
Y OU have the power to be functional, no matter what anyone else is doing
i have joked before about having to go thru a "12-step program" or my own little rehab to get past a broken relationship with out losing my mind...but this is a good checklist to see if what ur going thru is functional or dysfunctional...
the "function" of a relationship is different for each person..but the basics gotta be there(love, nurturing, respect...)..everyone plays a different role..alpha, omega or tug of war...when u love someone..its so hard to see the forest for the trees..u have ur own interpretation of what is really goin on..but sometimes it takes true objective re-evaluation to remove the rose colored glasses..i struggle with this every day..and i still cant quite get it right..but im not gonna stop trying..i know what i want..and what i dont want..even when all the broken pieces get put back together..the cracks(scars) are still there..just camouflaged very well..lol...until next time...
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