I am..Thinking about what I'm Thinking About

Confused already?..Again..this book has me thinking..and it talks about consciously putting effort into having certain thoughts..not just letting what ever pops in ur head stay in there...even before this book i have been aware of how that happens...and after reading "This Present Darkness" i really understood how satan screws with ur head..so u know i always begin with the definitions...cuz this is a good one.

Think(ing)-verb-1. to have or form in the mind as an idea, conception 2. to have a certain thing as the subject of one's thoughts 3. To concentrate one's thoughts on 4. To intend 5. To reason about or reflect on; ponder. -noun-1. use or exercise the mind or one's power of reason in order to make inferences, decisions, or arrive at a solution or judgments.

I know ur like dang....there are about 50 different definitions of think, thinking and thought...but this shows u how complex and important thinking and being in control of it really is..a thought is where everything begins...

Ok so...lets start at the conception of the thought..when something pops in ur head..did something trigger it..where did it originate?..a sound, smell, or something u saw..or did it just pop in there from no where? is the thought about something u are doing now, need to do or have already done?..man this is alot of stuff swirling around in there...this is why u have to take the time to make a conscious effort to separate it, get rid of the junk and meditate on the good stuff..other wise ur head is like a bowl of spaghetti..a big mess...trust me im an expert at the big mess part..what i have done is really tried to see what and who the originator is of all the thoughts that just pop in there outta no where..for example..when u are lookin at someone really cute and u think..i wonder what they are workin with under those clothes(u know u have had that thought...u dont have to lie)..it might be an interesting thought..but thats not a productive thought..and that aint God ...this happens to me at church all the time..so i know its satan screwin with me..(cuz i could think on that topic for a long time) satan knows im easily distracted..i literally have to say to myself..get outta there..

now lets talk on the thoughts that are in there right now...for instance..at work..i deal with these agents that act like children..it makes me insane..and just the sound of the voice of a couple of em makes my blood pressure go up...the first thought is..what the heck do they want now..or ugh i cant stand talkin to so-and-so..but the result of that thinking leaves me irritated and in a bad mood..it lingers almost and leaves this funk ..the point is..even tho i might not wanna deal with them..i have to..so i might as well change the way i deal with it because im just poisoning myself...i guess i have to start practicing what i preach..i tell my kids all the time..everything is a choice..so make good choices..then i turn around and stick my tongue out at em when they cant see..**dont tell anyone**

alright we covered the conception, and the now so what about the past..what about reflecting on all the stuff that has already happened?..sometimes this can be anticipated..we know if we go to a certain place or hear a certain song we are going to be reminded of something/someone...and we either avoid it like the plague or welcome it...if we know its going to trigger a thought..we can control the thought..right?..if its a happy thought dwell on it..if its a bad on replace it with a happy one..that sounds easy..now..what if its something that we dont expect..u have to have an emergency escape plan...so that u know how to deal with it when it comes..and the best way to have an effective emergency plan is to practice it..what good is the plan if its too hard to implement or u forget what the plan was all together..(find ur "happy place")

soooo what does this have to do with me...hmmmm...overall i have removed alot of the negative stuff that i was doing or that was around me..or learned how to deal with it in a different way..fear causes u to hold onto things(thats another days blog)..but i have done it and surprisingly survived it..**big happy face**..i try to recognize when im getting depressed before im face down in the dirt and then try to figure out what got me there so i can deal with it differently next time..(this sounds like a 12 step program for some reason)..all in all..making different and better decisions is creating a better me..and i love it...and i have to give all the glory to God..cuz thats the ONLY thing gettin me thru..

someone that i met only once a year ago sent me a text today and it said "Life isnt about finding urself, its about creating urself..do something!"..how fitting..so today I AM Thinking About What I'm Thinking About and u should too... until next time..