I am...at War

Sorry for the long gap between this post and my first one, but I was sick..and feeling totally unmotivated to do anything...today's "I AM" is...I am at WAR!

Definition: war, noun- a struggle OR verb- to be in conflict or in a state of strong opposition...

This has always gone on, but I guess I am just recently aware of it..lol..
My name is Stacy and I am at war with myself..hahaha....my personalities clash..and my worlds collide...Imagine it like u see in the movies..where the angel is sitting on one shoulder and the devil is on the other..talkin in ur ear while arguing their point..lol ya, thats me.

There's "Good Stacy"..who is laid back, enjoys time with kids, hanging out at the house, is responsible, goes to work, goes to church..blah blah...Then there's the "Bad Stacy" (BAD AZZ as u may know)..this is the crunk, outgoing, ride or die..dance till u drop and drink till u pass out...side of me..

I know this confuses people who dont know and understand both sides of me..they dont understand where I disappear to for months at a time while i transition thru these changes...i think this is the true definition of a pisces..the two fish swimming in opposite directions..keeping u constantly moving in circles and not really getting anywhere...even when u are conciously aware that this is happening there's nothin u can do to stop it..the current is too strong and u get sucked under...u stay submerged for awhile..suffocating, feeling heavy, depressed, complacent, hopeless and helpless...and then the tide recedes...u can finally catch ur breath..u feel hope returning...u think..ok i can get thru this...time passes and u start to feel like urself again...only for the cycle(another important definition: cycle-a sequence of changing states that, upon completion, produces a final state identical to the original one.) to begin again..i've been told this is also the definition of insanity...doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result..go figure...lol