I AM...forgiving me

My epiphany this week is that I have to forgive ME..as I try to evaluate myself and grow and change for the better I am "stunting my growth" because I havent forgiven myself for many of the things I have done or havent done for that matter...as I was goin thru some serious revelations this week God showed me I cant get what He wants to give me until I do that first.
I was watching Joyce Meyer as I do every morning..and she was talking about this topic..i dont think i really realized this was my problem..lol

define: forgive-verb- 1) to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve. 2) to give up all claim on account of; remit. 3) to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies. 4) to cancel an indebtedness or liability of.

define: guilt-noun- 1) a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.

first of all..u cant give something u dont have..meaning..u cant forgive someone else if u havent forgiven urself first..u cant love someone else if u dont love urself..u cant teach someone something if u dont know it for urself...so now i realize why im still draggin around the chains.. why is it so hard to forgive?..guilt..lol..when forgiveness happens..its like paying a debt..once its paid its done..but there was a "transfer of currency" so to speak..you hurt me(cost me pain)..i forgive u(pardon ur act)..but even tho the debt is paid..you still owe "residual" damages..lol..because, even tho i am forgiving u i may not ever forget what u did...with God its not that way..His design of forgiveness is different..you hurt Him(cost Him sadness with our choices)...we ask for forgiveness(He pardons our acts as if it NEVER happened)..there are no residual damages..because our debt was paid before it even happened..and even tho it cost Him His son..it's free for us...

think about how some people feel about taking something thats free..now..if its some cheezy consolation prize..we dont care..we will take it and not think twice(even tho we probably dont appreciate it)..but to take something for free that is bigger and better than you could ever image..wiping the slate clean as if it never happened..we feel like we dont deserve to get it without having to pay..either with money or actions or favors..

goin back to guilt..there are 2 kinds..conviction and condemnation...conviction is the guilt God has us feel..we get that feeling inside when we have done something wrong, hurt someone, been dishonest etc..this is designed to keep us on the right track..and to know right from wrong etc..condemnation is the guilt Satan has us feel..the feeling like "i cant do anything right", "i hate myself for what i did", "no one will like me because of what i did"..etc..we have to be able to tell the difference..and in order to forgive urself u have to see that the lies of condemnation Satan tell us are just that ..LIES!.

forgiveness is essential for us and for God..its a matter of health, sanity and blessings..i have decided that i cannot change the past and that right now I AM Forgiving ME!


Mary Mary-Forgiven Me

I hold a memory of myself
reflections of what I used to be
these broken roads that got me here
can't make it hard to face reality
but a new day is here
it's time that I embrace it
can't wait another day
right now I gotta face it

(Chorus) I never ever wanna press rewind
never wanna go back in time
not much glory in that story
but it's mine
so I'm lovin who I am today
the past has past away
finally I have forgiven me

(Verse 2) I hold a memory of myself
so young and foolish and not knowing
careless decisions that I made
I wish somebody would have told me
but a new day is here it's time that I embrace it
can't wait another day right now I gotta face it

(Bridge) the mirror on the wall
it makes me see today that I'm,
I'm not that foolish girl
time has brought a change a transformation
the old into the new when I let go of me and held on to you..
______________________________________________

...until next time!