For as long as I can remember, I wanted to work with kids in the foster care system...hoping one day to open one or more group foster homes...I had been seeking a volunteer position in several different organizations, but wasnt really feeling they "matched" me. By the suggestion of a few of my friends, I applied as a volunteer at CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocate) of Collin County.
(As a sidenote..for those of you who don't know what a "CASA" is...it goes a little like this...children are removed everyday from their homes due to abuse or neglect..each child is assigned a CPS caseworker, an Attorney ad Litem and luckily in Collin County each child is assigned a CASA. The CASA serves as the Guardian ad Litem for this child. They advocate on the behalf of the child and their best interests including medical care, educational needs, etc. The CASA makes sure that the child has all their needs met and is as successful as possible while in foster care until they can be reunited with their family or be placed elsewhere in a safe home).
That being said I was thrilled to find something like this to be involved with. Ultimately, since I would like to pursue this line of work as a career..I couldnt be happier to get to help children while gaining first hand experience in my future career field. After intense training, I am proud to report that I will be sworn in by the Judge this week and become an official CASA advocate! Most people think I am crazy. They say, " You mean you are going to do ALL that work and NOT get paid? I dont know how you can do that!" My response is, " I dont know how you can't?"
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse and a daughter of a foster child, I know this is God's purpose for me. My life experiences are my testimony. They allow me to be able to look a child in the face and know EXACTLY how they feel and understand in my heart how important it is for me to stand up for that child when no one else will. Dont forget...Kids in CPS care could be your neighbor, your child's best friend in school, on the soccer team, your relative..child abuse knows no color, race or gender..it doesn't discriminate..
Not everyone is cut out for this kind of work, trust me...I get it. But I encourage people to find whatever they are passionate about and do something about it. Find your purpose! God didn't plop us on Earth to sleep, work, eat and procreate while having no impact on people. We aren't here for US..we are here to glorify Him in whichever unique way we can. #foodforthought
...until next time...
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
I AM still here
A lot has changed since I last wrote..lost a job, found a new one, decided I wanted to focus on school, and 2 car accidents later..life is changed but better. I am now an unemployed, full time student, mom and volunteer and love it..I am finishing my associates degree this spring and hope to transfer to UTD in the fall. More than anything, I've enjoyed being home more for my kids..taking them to practice..volunteering more at their schools..overall being there in a way I wasnt before for my kids..
..I'm exceedingly blessed and got alot on my mind..so years from when this blog began..it's time to resume "therapy"...time to get back on the wagon..
..I'm exceedingly blessed and got alot on my mind..so years from when this blog began..it's time to resume "therapy"...time to get back on the wagon..
Thursday, August 13, 2009
I Am ...strong
It's another day in the neighborhood..i was talkin with a friend today who made a very good point and i thought i would share..."The devil only wants the strong"...
define: strong-adj- 1) mentally powerful or vigorous 2) especially able, competent, or powerful in a specific field or respect 3) of great moral power, firmness, or courage 4) powerful in influence, authority, resources, or means of prevailing or succeeding.
it seems like its always something..theres always an obstacle..theres always a situation..a crisis..its never ending..i know im not the only one goin thru it but dang!...u hear people say.."u know ur on the right track if the devil is messin w u"..and now that i think about its because he only wants the strong..his job is done if ur beat down and weak..he can take u out with one blow...if ur strong..he has to constantly attack u to make u vulnerable..as long as u r strong...his tactics to seduce u wont work..being strong takes work..constant effort to recharge and be ready for battle...
being strong brings a certain level of discernment with it..mental toughness helps u recognize when the devil is playin games with u..once u see it..u know how to fight it...mentally weak people cant see or think clearly because their judgment is clouded by their circumstances...at your weakest moments people will say and do things they otherwise may not do...remember the devil is looking for new recruits all the time..he wants the strong for his army too..he knows ur on God's side..and hes gonna do anything in his power to convert u..the beating he is puttin on u know is just the initiation...and hes not not gonna stop until you break..
...until next time!
define: strong-adj- 1) mentally powerful or vigorous 2) especially able, competent, or powerful in a specific field or respect 3) of great moral power, firmness, or courage 4) powerful in influence, authority, resources, or means of prevailing or succeeding.
it seems like its always something..theres always an obstacle..theres always a situation..a crisis..its never ending..i know im not the only one goin thru it but dang!...u hear people say.."u know ur on the right track if the devil is messin w u"..and now that i think about its because he only wants the strong..his job is done if ur beat down and weak..he can take u out with one blow...if ur strong..he has to constantly attack u to make u vulnerable..as long as u r strong...his tactics to seduce u wont work..being strong takes work..constant effort to recharge and be ready for battle...
being strong brings a certain level of discernment with it..mental toughness helps u recognize when the devil is playin games with u..once u see it..u know how to fight it...mentally weak people cant see or think clearly because their judgment is clouded by their circumstances...at your weakest moments people will say and do things they otherwise may not do...remember the devil is looking for new recruits all the time..he wants the strong for his army too..he knows ur on God's side..and hes gonna do anything in his power to convert u..the beating he is puttin on u know is just the initiation...and hes not not gonna stop until you break..
1 Corinthians 16:13 Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong.
everyday u have to "put on the armor of God" just like they teach in bible school..stand strong and be ready for the fight!...until next time!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
I Am...the clay
I was talking with a friend today about fulfilling your purpose..we questioned is it possible to miss the mark?..can you go your whole life and never achieve it?..is it ever too late?..my answer was NO..
This reminds me of the potter and the clay...the potter has the power and foreknowledge as to what his plan is for the clay...he knows the strengths and limitations to which he can stretch and pull the clay to make it into a beautiful masterpiece...
On the other hand, the clay always has the ability to become a masterpiece..even if the clay dries to a brick..with care from the potter it can be revived and still brought to its full potential..but the natural state of the clay resists the potter..it can take hours to soften the clay so that it can be molded and shaped to become "all that it can be".
i think that God never loses sight of what our full potential is(especially since He created us..lol)..and He knows beforehand that we will do things that cause us to stray from what our ideal plan might be..but all and all we never lose the potential to meet or fulfill our predestined purpose...
i think the key is that the clay cant be molded until is "gives" and becomes soft..personally, i have found that my stubbornness in giving up that last little bit of control(over many things) is what has prevented me from being mold-able..once i give that up..God can shape me into the masterpiece He has always envisioned for me to be.
...until next time!
This reminds me of the potter and the clay...the potter has the power and foreknowledge as to what his plan is for the clay...he knows the strengths and limitations to which he can stretch and pull the clay to make it into a beautiful masterpiece...
On the other hand, the clay always has the ability to become a masterpiece..even if the clay dries to a brick..with care from the potter it can be revived and still brought to its full potential..but the natural state of the clay resists the potter..it can take hours to soften the clay so that it can be molded and shaped to become "all that it can be".
i think that God never loses sight of what our full potential is(especially since He created us..lol)..and He knows beforehand that we will do things that cause us to stray from what our ideal plan might be..but all and all we never lose the potential to meet or fulfill our predestined purpose...
i think the key is that the clay cant be molded until is "gives" and becomes soft..personally, i have found that my stubbornness in giving up that last little bit of control(over many things) is what has prevented me from being mold-able..once i give that up..God can shape me into the masterpiece He has always envisioned for me to be.
...until next time!
Sunday, August 9, 2009
I Am...desperate for change
The Word today at church was so good I listened to it twice to make sure it sunk in..lol..Pastor Ricky always hits home..his message today was about "Being desperate for change"...how fitting..lol...i have known for some time that i am going thru a change..today i saw what i was doing wrong..
define: change-verb-1) to become different 2) to become transformed or converted 3) to pass gradually into.
in order to grow u have to be ready to change..we all SAY we are ready for change..we want our breakthru..but what are we changing to get there?..i have wanted the end result but havent been willing to give up complete control and set myself apart...no matter how much bargaining we do, we cant manipulate Gods plan..we can make all the "deals" we want.."God if u do this then i will..fill in the blank"..but in the end..He's in control...things to remember..
...change never happens without a struggle...i always think of a caterpillar that changes into a butterfly and the struggle it goes thru to emerge from its cocoon.
...God initiates the fight..Genesis 32:22-31..His fight is to strengthen us, not to suppress us..when he fights with us..He leaves His mark..this mark is there to remind us of what happened..thru this fight brings transformation and transition.
...u must fight to receive the promises..
...u have to take off the mask..stop hiding and living the double life that is blocking u from what God has for u...and release the control..(this one is hard)..
...God will always complete what He starts...and the only thing that can get in the way of this is urself..
when ur desperate..u feel like u will pretty much do anything..so today..i have decided..to be the person I have always been..the one who is different.. i am setting myself apart..being transformed...and releasing the control..stepping out on faith...and transitioning into what God has for me...i dont care what people think..its time for a change..God show me the way..
...until next time!
define: change-verb-1) to become different 2) to become transformed or converted 3) to pass gradually into.
in order to grow u have to be ready to change..we all SAY we are ready for change..we want our breakthru..but what are we changing to get there?..i have wanted the end result but havent been willing to give up complete control and set myself apart...no matter how much bargaining we do, we cant manipulate Gods plan..we can make all the "deals" we want.."God if u do this then i will..fill in the blank"..but in the end..He's in control...things to remember..
...change never happens without a struggle...i always think of a caterpillar that changes into a butterfly and the struggle it goes thru to emerge from its cocoon.
...God initiates the fight..Genesis 32:22-31..His fight is to strengthen us, not to suppress us..when he fights with us..He leaves His mark..this mark is there to remind us of what happened..thru this fight brings transformation and transition.
...u must fight to receive the promises..
...u have to take off the mask..stop hiding and living the double life that is blocking u from what God has for u...and release the control..(this one is hard)..
...God will always complete what He starts...and the only thing that can get in the way of this is urself..
when ur desperate..u feel like u will pretty much do anything..so today..i have decided..to be the person I have always been..the one who is different.. i am setting myself apart..being transformed...and releasing the control..stepping out on faith...and transitioning into what God has for me...i dont care what people think..its time for a change..God show me the way..
...until next time!
Monday, August 3, 2009
I AM...forgiving me
My epiphany this week is that I have to forgive ME..as I try to evaluate myself and grow and change for the better I am "stunting my growth" because I havent forgiven myself for many of the things I have done or havent done for that matter...as I was goin thru some serious revelations this week God showed me I cant get what He wants to give me until I do that first.
I was watching Joyce Meyer as I do every morning..and she was talking about this topic..i dont think i really realized this was my problem..lol
define: forgive-verb- 1) to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve. 2) to give up all claim on account of; remit. 3) to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies. 4) to cancel an indebtedness or liability of.
define: guilt-noun- 1) a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
first of all..u cant give something u dont have..meaning..u cant forgive someone else if u havent forgiven urself first..u cant love someone else if u dont love urself..u cant teach someone something if u dont know it for urself...so now i realize why im still draggin around the chains.. why is it so hard to forgive?..guilt..lol..when forgiveness happens..its like paying a debt..once its paid its done..but there was a "transfer of currency" so to speak..you hurt me(cost me pain)..i forgive u(pardon ur act)..but even tho the debt is paid..you still owe "residual" damages..lol..because, even tho i am forgiving u i may not ever forget what u did...with God its not that way..His design of forgiveness is different..you hurt Him(cost Him sadness with our choices)...we ask for forgiveness(He pardons our acts as if it NEVER happened)..there are no residual damages..because our debt was paid before it even happened..and even tho it cost Him His son..it's free for us...
think about how some people feel about taking something thats free..now..if its some cheezy consolation prize..we dont care..we will take it and not think twice(even tho we probably dont appreciate it)..but to take something for free that is bigger and better than you could ever image..wiping the slate clean as if it never happened..we feel like we dont deserve to get it without having to pay..either with money or actions or favors..
goin back to guilt..there are 2 kinds..conviction and condemnation...conviction is the guilt God has us feel..we get that feeling inside when we have done something wrong, hurt someone, been dishonest etc..this is designed to keep us on the right track..and to know right from wrong etc..condemnation is the guilt Satan has us feel..the feeling like "i cant do anything right", "i hate myself for what i did", "no one will like me because of what i did"..etc..we have to be able to tell the difference..and in order to forgive urself u have to see that the lies of condemnation Satan tell us are just that ..LIES!.
forgiveness is essential for us and for God..its a matter of health, sanity and blessings..i have decided that i cannot change the past and that right now I AM Forgiving ME!
Mary Mary-Forgiven Me
I hold a memory of myself
reflections of what I used to be
these broken roads that got me here
can't make it hard to face reality
but a new day is here
it's time that I embrace it
can't wait another day
right now I gotta face it
(Chorus) I never ever wanna press rewind
never wanna go back in time
not much glory in that story
but it's mine
so I'm lovin who I am today
the past has past away
finally I have forgiven me
(Verse 2) I hold a memory of myself
so young and foolish and not knowing
careless decisions that I made
I wish somebody would have told me
but a new day is here it's time that I embrace it
can't wait another day right now I gotta face it
(Bridge) the mirror on the wall
it makes me see today that I'm,
I'm not that foolish girl
time has brought a change a transformation
the old into the new when I let go of me and held on to you..
______________________________________________
...until next time!
I was watching Joyce Meyer as I do every morning..and she was talking about this topic..i dont think i really realized this was my problem..lol
define: forgive-verb- 1) to grant pardon for or remission of (an offense, debt, etc.); absolve. 2) to give up all claim on account of; remit. 3) to cease to feel resentment against: to forgive one's enemies. 4) to cancel an indebtedness or liability of.
define: guilt-noun- 1) a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offense, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.
first of all..u cant give something u dont have..meaning..u cant forgive someone else if u havent forgiven urself first..u cant love someone else if u dont love urself..u cant teach someone something if u dont know it for urself...so now i realize why im still draggin around the chains.. why is it so hard to forgive?..guilt..lol..when forgiveness happens..its like paying a debt..once its paid its done..but there was a "transfer of currency" so to speak..you hurt me(cost me pain)..i forgive u(pardon ur act)..but even tho the debt is paid..you still owe "residual" damages..lol..because, even tho i am forgiving u i may not ever forget what u did...with God its not that way..His design of forgiveness is different..you hurt Him(cost Him sadness with our choices)...we ask for forgiveness(He pardons our acts as if it NEVER happened)..there are no residual damages..because our debt was paid before it even happened..and even tho it cost Him His son..it's free for us...
think about how some people feel about taking something thats free..now..if its some cheezy consolation prize..we dont care..we will take it and not think twice(even tho we probably dont appreciate it)..but to take something for free that is bigger and better than you could ever image..wiping the slate clean as if it never happened..we feel like we dont deserve to get it without having to pay..either with money or actions or favors..
goin back to guilt..there are 2 kinds..conviction and condemnation...conviction is the guilt God has us feel..we get that feeling inside when we have done something wrong, hurt someone, been dishonest etc..this is designed to keep us on the right track..and to know right from wrong etc..condemnation is the guilt Satan has us feel..the feeling like "i cant do anything right", "i hate myself for what i did", "no one will like me because of what i did"..etc..we have to be able to tell the difference..and in order to forgive urself u have to see that the lies of condemnation Satan tell us are just that ..LIES!.
forgiveness is essential for us and for God..its a matter of health, sanity and blessings..i have decided that i cannot change the past and that right now I AM Forgiving ME!
Mary Mary-Forgiven Me
I hold a memory of myself
reflections of what I used to be
these broken roads that got me here
can't make it hard to face reality
but a new day is here
it's time that I embrace it
can't wait another day
right now I gotta face it
(Chorus) I never ever wanna press rewind
never wanna go back in time
not much glory in that story
but it's mine
so I'm lovin who I am today
the past has past away
finally I have forgiven me
(Verse 2) I hold a memory of myself
so young and foolish and not knowing
careless decisions that I made
I wish somebody would have told me
but a new day is here it's time that I embrace it
can't wait another day right now I gotta face it
(Bridge) the mirror on the wall
it makes me see today that I'm,
I'm not that foolish girl
time has brought a change a transformation
the old into the new when I let go of me and held on to you..
______________________________________________
...until next time!
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I Am...a refugee
I cant seem to get the words out fast enough this week..a lot on my mind..lots of writing to get out..
define: refuge-noun
| 1. | shelter or protection from danger, trouble, etc.: to take refuge from a storm. |
| 2. | a place of shelter, protection, or safety. |
| 3. | anything to which one has recourse for aid, relief, or escape. |
With all the ups and downs...I know God is near me, but I'm distant from Him..this morning as soon as I woke up I felt Him speak to me, "I am your refuge." Typing that makes me want to cry..His timing is perfect as always..He knew I needed that word this morning..to get outta bed, let alone face the day. So, admittedly I am not the best scripture quoter, so I looked it up..there are several places were it refers to refuge..but this one fit the best..my little nugget for the day.
Psalm 18:2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the strength of my salvation, my stronghold.
When your sinking..you need a rock to hold on to..He is my rock and He is my refuge...without Him...who else will save me from the quicksand?
I many go thru tough times but I always know I need the shelter, safety, protection, aid, relief and escape only He can provide..My own little "staycation".*wink*
Thank you God for all that you ARE, HAVE BEEN and WILL BE..
...until next time!
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